Scribbles by W. Patrick

Things Gamestop Does Not Want You to Know

Things Gamestop Does Not Want You to Know

     Who doesn’t love video games?  Let me rephrase that:  Who, under the approximate age of 68 years old does not love video games?

"See that guy I just shot in the face?  That's you, Marge."

  

     That was an easy question.  Let’s try another, and I will wager that the answer will be just as easy.  Who doesn’t love Gamestop?

Yep...looks like pretty much everyone!

     Now, I understand that Gamestop is, like any other retailer, in the business of making a profit.  This being the case, there will always those who are very vocal about their dislike for them.  Look at Walmart, or even Macy’s and Gimble’s department stores before them.  There have been, and currently are hordes of people out there who can’t wait to tell you what its wrong with any large, successful retail chain. If you are in the business of making money from the public, there will always be detractors within said public.

Graphic depiction of "No one cares what you think."

     Gamestop, however, seems to have gone above and beyond the “Call of Duty” (get it?) to have well earned the hatred and discontent of their customers.

     The following are some of the practices that Gamestop regularly puts in to play to let you, the customer, know that you are most certainly not their most important asset.

GET XXX% MORE ON YOUR TRADE-IN DEALS

These deals are very sneaky and insidious, like a rattlesnake who has stuffed his tail with cotton balls.  You see, when you look on your receipt and it shows that the item you just traded in, let’s say a Wii system, would have normally traded in for $14, you are, in fact receiving a whopping $21, instead!  Well traded, right?  Well, not exactly.

"He may have the 'Power,' but I got the bonus, suckers!"

Registers are no longer those clanky, metallic iron devices with bells and buttons anymore.  Today most, if not all retailers utilize a proprietary computer system for their registers.  The system at Gamestop knows when any sale or special is going to take place and adjusts its programming accordingly.  In the case of the “extra for your trade” deals, it reduces the amount of the original trade, usually on the day the deal goes in to effect.  That’s right.  If the deal starts on a Wednesday, then odds are on the Tuesday prior, that $14 Wii was trading in for much more…sometimes more than what will be offered after the new deal is applied!!!  Simply stated, even though you think you are getting a deal with your $21 dollars, odds are the day before, one could have possibly traded the very same system for $23 or more!  What’s even more egregious is, after the “special” is over, the trade-in price goes back up!  The customers, (Gamestop hopes), are never the wiser.

NEW GAMES AREN’T ALWAYS AS NEW AS YOU THINK

Contrary to popular thought, there aren’t a whole lot of advantages to working at Gamestop.  You don't get many hours, you work for minimum wage, etc.  Sure, you’re surrounded by video games all day long.  But, ask yourself this:  When is the last time you saw a Gamestop employee actually playing a video game?  It’s like being the guy who gets paid $8 an hour to sell diamond jewelry to rich patrons.  He doesn’t wear the jewelry at the store, and he certainly doesn’t get to take it home with him at the end of the day.

Or, maybe he does...what the hell do I know?

This is where your average Gamestop employee has an advantage over your average jewelry broker.  At the end of the shift, provided it has been over a week since a game’s release and there is more than a single copy of the game available, the employee can sign out any game and take it home for four days.  Pretty sweet, huh?

"Played it.  Beat it.  Now, give me your $60 and get the hell out."

 

 I mean, it’s sweet if you aren’t the person who purchases this “new” video game for $60 after the clerk at your local store has already taken that same game home with him, played it and beaten it.  What difference does it make if the game was already used for a few days if you get your enjoyment out of it?

"They'll never know..."

The difference is that the game is now USED and Gamestop is, in addition to being a retailer of NEW games, a re-seller of USED games.  And these pre-owned games, don’t forget, are usually at least ten percent cheaper than their new counterparts.  Customers are being bamboozled in to purchasing a used game at a new price.  Now, the term Gamestop uses for “used” is “pre-owned,” and technically, the games in question were never actually “owned” by the employees who had signed them out.  Remember the last person who tried to use logic like that on a technicality?

Call me crazy, but I kind of miss this S.O.B

PRE-OWNED GAMES AREN’T ALWAYS PRE-OWNED

We’ve all had that one game from our past that we thought would be cool to play again, only to find out it had become a “collector’s item,” or a “rare” game.  Think “Baldur’s Gate II,” the PS2 masterpiece, that, though used, still brings in at least $40.  This is a game for a system from two generations ago, for crying out loud, and before it left the shelves years upon years ago it was selling for $19.99!  Why the exorbitant price?  Because this game, and many like it are actually rare.  They are the kind of game that customers tend to archive in their collections rather than trade in for a six-dollar credit.  Therfore, whenever a copy does surface, the price reflects its rarity and demand.

Pictured: Two years college tuition.

Here is where Gamestop plays fast and loose with this idea of rarity a bit.  A little while back, there was a very good game for the Nintendo Wii called “Xenoblade Chronicles.” It cost sixty bucks, but more importantly, it was a Gamestop exclusive, meaning that no other retailer sold this particular game.  This sounds like a recipe for rarity, right?  Sure it does, and given the proper amount of time, that’s exactly what would have happened.  Gamestop, however, tried to expedite the process of making this game a hard-to-find gem.  First, they stopped selling new copies of the game and waited for almost a year.  Then, they released a new batch of “used” copies at a whopping $90 a pop!  When asked about this unbelievable price point, Gamestop told the public that the game was, in fact, rare and their price reflected supply and demand.  Sound reasonable, right?

Seems right.  Honestly, I kind of slept through that class, though.

Except, the “used” games were never used.  Copies of Xenoblade Chronicles came pouring in to Gamestops around the nation from their massive distribution center.  Each and every one of these games was still factory sealed, i.e. not used!  Now, take the logic from their “pre-owned” argument, where the copies that are used by employees were never owned, and therefore do not have to be sold as pre-owned at a lower price and apply it here.  These games had never been owned. They were factory sealed!  How then are they able to sell them as rare, pre-owned merchandise?  The two arguments that I imagine Gamestop is sticking by are, “because we want to,” and “because we can.”

Yeah, okay...or maybe that.

HAVE A GAME RESERVED?  WELL, MAYBE AND MAYBE NOT

Make a purchase at any Gamestop and you will receive a laundry list of requests and offers.  Do you want to become a member?  Will you do the survey?  Do you want to insure your game or system?  Will you, in fact, give them any more money for anything at all?  The most common question that a customer is asked, however, has to center around the reserve of upcoming games.  They go after that reserve dollar like a piranha goes after a cow crossing the river. 

So, you reserve your copy of “Call of Gears War-Duty 3” that comes out in three months, and you think you can relax now…your game will be waiting for you when you go back and get it.  Heck, you even paid for it in full, so it must be sitting in a drawer, wrapped and ready to go with your name on it, right?  Actually, no. 

Nope.  Not even almost.

If you read the little print on the back of the receipt, you will find that Gamestop is only responsible to hold reserves for customers for the first 48 hours after the release of the item.  That means, if you come in three days later because you weren’t able to make it before...you know, because you work so hard to make enough money to afford these video games, your game may not even be there.  If you question the employee about it, they will direct you to the back of the receipt.

And you can direct them to the back of your hand.

To be fair, every attempt will be made to get the customer the game as soon as possible, but it will not be immediate.  The person who just shelled out their hard-earned cash to decimate zombies will have to wait until another shipment comes in or one can be ordered from another store before they can do so.  A good example of this sort of debacle is the recent release of the Playstation 4.  These were the hot item of the year, and many people put down a minimum of $100 to ensure themselves a system.  Though they were in short supply and high demand, the Gamestop company decision was to sell as many systems as they could to “walk-in” customers, as well.  This resulted in many customers, (those who were forward thinking enough to put down good money to reserve a system), going home with nothing.  Their friends their neighbors, the “non-reserve” people, however were quite possibly playing their PS4’s before dinner.  It’s this kind of practice that backs up the theory that video games do, indeed cause rage and violence…just not in the way that one would think.

"Let me show you what I think about $4 for my trade-ins, maggot!"

Now, many people certainly have their own horror stories about their individual experiences at Gamestop.  As previously stated, this is not an uncommon occurrence for a retailer of this size.  The points above, though, do not address issues such as “that rude kid behind the counter,” or “I swear the line moves so slow!”  These types of complaints are specific to the stores one visits and to the employees working therein.  No, this article is focused upon company practices and how they have been designed to, at the very least fool the customers and at the most, outright cheat them.  These are the types of things that consumers should be aware of and, hopefully, complain about.  It is only through these complaints and the refusal to be party to such shady operations that any change will ever come.

Scribbles by W. Patrick

WILL YOU PLEASE KEEP THE NOISE DOWN?

WILL YOU PLEASE KEEP THE NOISE DOWN?

      I grew up in a house with four kids, all of us within five years of each other.  That means that when we became teenagers and all of us had our separate groups of teenage friends hanging about, it got rather noisy and chaotic.  To this day, I can remember both my mother and father shouting,

     “Will you please stop with all that racket?  I can’t think with all of that noise going on!”

     We, of course, found this to be silly and shook our heads as we turned up our record players.  (Yes, record players…I am an old man).  Life is funny, though.  For, try as we might to avoid it, most of us actually grow up to be our parents in one way or another.  Now, I’m not saying that I hang around the house in my boxer shorts and black socks, turning off the lights and screaming,

     “What am I, the power company?  And who put the thermostat over sixty-eight?  If you’re cold, put on a sweater!”

     I'm not necessarily saying I WON'T be this guy, either.

     

      What I do notice, though, is that I share the same sentiment about noise and the inability to think with the continuous racket going on around us at all times.  The difference here, however, is that the din is not being caused by raucous, rebellious teenagers.  It’s being caused by our news and entertainment media, technology companies and our very own government.

     Think about this for a moment:  What are the biggest news stories going on right now?  For that matter, what have been the biggest news events over the past year?  The past few years?  Chances are your answers involved, in some way, President Obama, Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Ipods and Iphones or XBOX and Sony.  ‘News’ about these people and things have been crammed down the throat of America with such voracity, that if a researcher only had information from 2013 to pull from, this scientist might wonder why Mount Rushmore did not look like this.

    I understand the tongue alone weighs the same as 3 full-grown elephants!

     Look in comparison at some of the biggest news events of the 1980’s.  Mount St. Helens erupted.  There were assassination attempts on the Pope and on President Reagan.  The first woman was appointed to the Supreme Court.  New Coke hit the market and a hole was discovered in the ozone layer.

     The Iran/Contra scandal is exposed and the Berlin Wall falls!  DNA is used for the first time to convict criminals and the personal computer (PC) is introduced by IBM!

     God, I hope it'll play Skyrim!

      These are only the highlights, of course.  The point is, when news happened, it was reported and the people were interested.  Out of this interest, the public became educated and that is what we are sorely missing today.  For example, ask any random person what is happening over at the Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan.  Ask that same person about Justin Bieber’s arrest.  Odds are pretty good that you will have more information about the ‘Biebs’ at the end of the conversation and will have to look up Fukushima when you get home.  If you wanted to compare the two, though, it is quite simple.  One of them is one of the biggest disasters the world has ever known and its existence threatens the fate of all mankind.  The other is a Japanese nuclear plant in danger of melting down and taking the planet with it.

     Seriously, though, you should check this out.  It's some pretty serious sh*t.

     Some like to blame the lack of education in this country for this complacency.  I believe that these people have the cause and effect reversed.  People’s education is being compromised and they are being made complacent by the absolute garbage that is being spewed forth from our media devices all day long.

      I believe that this sort of nonsense is being transmitted, advertised, blasted through 64 inch plasma televisions and trumpeted on the radio on purpose.  During the drive home from work on any given day, one will hear the president’s name mentioned at the very least, about a dozen times.  Sometimes it is in defense, sometimes it is on the attack.  Other times it is a recording of a speech he has given and the host of the show is twisting it in whichever way it serves the ratings best.  The point is, the man is in our lives 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  This is unprecedented.  Even at the height of the Watergate scandal of the early 1970’s, the public didn’t hear from or about the president each and every day.  There was other news to be heard, other stories of interest and more things to learn about!

     Okay...maybe there were some things we could've done without.

     Mikhail Baryshnikov defected from the Soviet Union in the seventies.  Patty Hearst was kidnapped and later recorded as she helped pull off a bank heist.  The war in Vietnam ended.  There was a nuclear accident at Three Mile Island.  Mother Theresa won the Nobel Peace Prize and Arthur Ashe became the first black man to win at Wimbledon.  People soaked in the news and, in their own way became part of history as it happened, because they were there.  Today’s people can say ‘they were there’ when Miley Cyrus jumped on stage half-naked and wagged her tongue at the audience as she ‘twerked.’  Call me old-fashioned if you like, but I don’t want to become any part of that particular history.

     That's right!  Makin' history, baby!

      Here’s the thing:  This is not being done by accident.  The lack of relevant news is not because people are ‘more interested’ in the tripe that’s being fed to them.  It is because it is being fed so constantly and so loudly that we can’t think!  Remember that?  ‘I can’t think with all this racket going on’?  Most people don’t know about the tremendous sinkhole in Louisiana.  It is so filled with chemicals, so combustible and poisonous and so very large that it threatens to blow off a good portion of the state and its surrounding areas.  Efforts are being made to contain it, but it continues to grow nonetheless and experts are currently stumped!  This is serious business right here in our own backyard, but if you ask your average person about it, and they’ll look at you like you have seven heads.  Conversely, ask them if you should buy an Iphone 5 or a Galaxy III, and you will receive a thesis on the pros and cons of each.  Why?  I’ll tell you why.  Because the people in charge of what gets fed to the media and, in turn, fed to your brain do not want you to think.

     Garbage in = Garbage out

     A nation of rational, logical, well-educated free thinkers is not good for business.  It is not good for commercial business and it is not good for the business of those who are in power and want to stay there.  Think about it.  If the cows in the pasture knew what was in store for them…if they had the capacity to think it through…do you think that it would then become easier or more difficult for the farmer to lead them to slaughter?  No farmer wants a cow who can think that clearly or problem solve.  Similarly, no politician, no big-business owner and no Wall Street tycoon wants their herd to think clearly either.  How would they then be able to direct us or to make us go where they want us to go, buy what they want us to buy?  How would they ever get us to stand idly by as watch all of our freedoms disappear before our eyes?

     The farmer’s job is far easier, though, as we humans are born with the capacity to think as well as to reason and consider. 

     This is where the noise comes in. 

     This is where that awful racket comes in to play.  This is why we are so constantly bombarded with Kim Kardashian’s butt, Miley Cyrus’s tongue and each and every word that comes out of President Obama’s mouth.  If they keep the noise levels high enough, well, then we won’t be able to think.

     MAKE THE NOISE STOP!!!

     Try this:  Leave your mobile phone in a drawer for a day.  Keep your radio off on your way to work, and just observe the world around you.  Read the stories on page three and four, and not just the front page and entertainment sections of your paper.  Talk to people.  Read a book.  Your stuff will be there waiting for you when you return, and you can turn up the noise just as high as you want if reality gets to be too much.

     "The story ends, you wake up in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe."

      At least, at the end of it, it will have been your choice.  You will have made a conscious decision instead of being lead through the gate like so many other sheep.  Me?  I can’t stand the racket, and I don’t like it when the noise gets so loud that I can’t think.  But hey, that’s only my opinion.  So if you’ll excuse me, I think someone left the lights on in the kitchen.  I’m not the power company, you know.

Scribbles by W. Patrick

"Braveheart" Takes Freeeedom With the Facts

    "Braveheart" Takes FREEEEDOM With the Facts

     

     Picture a movie made by a British production company, starring an Australian actor who grew up in Ireland.  Now, imagine this movie is about the American Revolutionary War.  In this movie, General Washington orders General Patton to destroy the advancing Vietnamese troops by using his specially trained “Space Rangers” and their laser rifles. About halfway through the movie, a confused Abraham Lincoln is found out to be a traitor, but redeems himself at the end by leading his flak-jacketed troops across the Potomac to victory.

    "Come at me, Bro!"

      Insane hogwash, right?  There’s no way that anyone, irrespective of national origin could possibly confuse a tale like that with actual history.  Don’t be so sure.  You see, there are people out there who, for having watched the Mel Gibson Oscar-winning film “Braveheart,” believe that they are experts in the life of William Wallace and in Scottish history, in general.

     Now, full disclosure:  I’ve seen “Braveheart” about a dozen times and have enjoyed it each and every time.  Similarly, I have enjoyed “Star Wars” and “Ghostbusters.”  I do not feel an overwhelming need to attribute any historical significance to either of those movies, and I feel much the same way about the fictionalized tale of William Wallace.  It was fun and full of adventure.  It was brilliantly filmed and the acting was absolutely top-notch.  There was a relatable hero, a perfectly hateful villain and a giant man made out of marshmallows.  (The last one, of course, relates only to “Ghostbusters”).

     Let’s start with Wallace himself.  History records the man to be anywhere from 6 foot 5 inches to a staggering 7 feet tall.  Where common sense would dictate that a Scotsman from the thirteenth century would probably not be a viable point-guard for the Boston Celtics and that 7 feet is probably pushing the limits of credulity, the man was more probably than not very tall, indeed.  Mel Gibson, on the other hand, is not. 

Actual Size Comparison 

     Now, I am not implying that Mel Gibson’s character was a tiny weakling, or that he did not look absolutely smashing in his kilt; far from it.  That does bring up another area where Hollywood has taken a few liberties with European history, though.  Kilts did not exist in the time of William Wallace.

     As previously stated, William Wallace lived during the latter part of the 13^th century.  Scotsmen started wearing Kilts over three centuries later.  The kilt, which literally translates from Scottish into, “to tuck ones clothes up around one’s body,” was a full length garment, with the upper half serving as a cape or a hood.  It was adopted from Norse settlers who wore similar garments that they called kjalta.  This fashion icon was not adopted until the 17^th century, so there was no way that William Wallace or any of his clansmen would have been wearing them.  They wore pants…boring pants and probably sensible shoes, as well.  To their credit, however, had the producers been sticklers for historical accuracy, movie-goers the world over would still have no idea what Mel Gibson’s knees look like.  So ask yourself: is that a world you want to live in?

     Okay.  We probably would've eventually figured it out.

      On now to that traitorous Robert the Bruce, who, in accordance with the wishes of his leprosy-ridden father, betrays Wallace and all of Scotland.   Here, I will give you fair warning.  If you are ever at a gathering of Scotsmen and you go into a diatribe of how that nasty Robert the 17^th Bruce was a no good so-and-so, be prepared to be unceremoniously and violently stomped into a fine paste and made into a haggis.

     You see, Robert the Bruce is one of Scotland’s greatest national heroes.  He assumed the throne in 1306 and led his band of “warrior poets” to victory against Edward I.  As a matter of fact, the term “Braveheart” actually refers to Robert the Bruce, whose troops, after his death, literally carried his heart into battle.

     He never betrayed his kinsmen and, though critical of William Wallace’s early campaigns, he became one of his most outspoken and influential supporters.

     On the other side of the field of battle, we find the evil King Edward I, or “Edward the Longshanks,” to his buddies.  Portrayed as something of a cross between Darth Vader and the Sheriff of Nottingham, ol’ Longshanks couldn’t wait to rid Scotland of the men wearing their futuristic kilts before granting Primae Noctis to his knights.  Primae Noctis is, of or course, the abominable practice of granting feudal lords the right to bed peasant women upon their wedding nights.  It is quite understandable that this sort of thing would infuriate the Scots, causing all sort of violence and prompting the men to paint themselves blue.

    From their new album, "Freeeeeedom!!!"

      The problem with this, of course, is that it never happened.  The idea of Primae Noctis is a work of fiction, and has been so since about the time of the 16^th century.  There’s been a lot of talk of it through the centuries, but absolutely no evidence to substantiate its’ actual existence.  Oh, and no one in Wallace’s time ever painted themselves blue, either.  Unlike kilts, that was a fashion trend of several centuries earlier.

     Back to King Eddie Longshanks, though, the evil bastard.  Well…not so much.  Where he was known as the “Hammer of the Scots,” and he did fight to gain control of the land, he did so only after he was invited in by the Scots themselves.   That’s right, they invited him in to broker a peace and avoid civil war following the deaths of Scotland’s King Alexander III and of his granddaughter and only known heir, Margaret, Maid of Norway.  His terms for arbitrating such a peace included being named Lord Paramount of Scotland, a stipulation that the Scots agreed to.

    Read it?  Well, I skimmed it...I'm sure it's fine.

     Shortly after naming John Balliol the new king, King Edward thought better of it, considering King Balliol to be a poor choice and a weak king.  He attempted to remedy this mistake by attacking Scotland at its border towns and forcing Balliol to abdicate.  Though tyrannical attacks and all-out warfare were certainly over-reactionary on the part of Longshanks, it must be said that John Balliol was indeed a weak king and poor leader, and was known as “Toom Tabard,” or “Empty Coat” for the duration of his short rule.  Upon realizing this, it is not without merit that the Lord Paramount of Scotland might seek to remedy the situation.  A situation, remember, that he was originally asked to fix.

     Additionally, King Edward was responsible at home in England for the re-establishment of the “Magna Carta” and its joining with the decades-old “Forest Charter,” forming the “Confirmation of Charters” in 1297.  This not only granted rights to the aristocracy, (via the Magna Carta), and the peasantry, (via the Forest Charter), back in its own time, but is widely considered the basis of British law and still remains in statute to this day!   What a diabolical villain!

      "I shall kill them all.  Then, I shall donate the proceeds to fund Plague research!"

     Also, upon the death of his wife Eleanor in 1290 in the city of Harby, King Edward I had her body transported to London for burial.  At every one of the twelve spots that his wife’s body laid during the journey, Edward had a lavish stone cross erected in her memory.  Three of them still exist today.

     Surviving Queen Eleanor Cross

      Several more fictionalizations occur throughout the film.  For instance, Princess Isabelle of France was portrayed by Sophie Marceau as a beautiful young woman of a kind and virtuous nature.  In reality, the real princess was approximately 7 years old at the time of William Wallace.  Furthermore, upon becoming an adult, she was widely considered to be something of a bloodthirsty warrior who, after deposing her husband, King Edward II, launched another war into Scotland with her son, Edward III.

     In the film, King Edward I dies as Wallace is being executed.  King Edward did not die until several years after Wallace, at the ripe old age of 70.

     King Edward II did not marry Queen Isabelle of France until three years after Wallace’s death.

     The film begins in 1280, with the King of Scotland dead and Edward I invading.  King Alexander III did not die until 1286 and Edward’s attempt at conquest did not begin until roughly four years later.

     There may or may not, however, have been a giant marshmallow-man at the Battle of Stirling Bridge.  Let’s face it…with the amount of liberties taken by Hollywood in this and so many other films, it’s hard to be sure.

Scribbles by W. Patrick